Lower Frequencies
by Scarecrowqueen
Summary: "Who knows but that, on the lower frequencies, I speak for you?"  - Ralph Ellison.  A collection of angsty Dean and/or Castiel centric 100-word drabbles.  Will be updated as the inspiration strikes.
1. Superglue

The only thing holding Dean Winchester's soul in his body is the smallest bit of Castiel's grace. Sam only finds this out when Cas is killed by Raphael. In one, bright, rapid flash Cas dies, wings burnt out into the dry earth of some nameless field. Many miles away, Sam has one second of Dean's shocked face, before his expression goes perfectly blank and he collapses. When the body rises it's a soulless automaton wearing his brother's skin.

In hell, Dean's soul wakes on the rack, screaming and screaming and screaming, but there is no one left to save him.


	2. Heart Attack

Dean stares into the mirror, right hand over his heart. He presses down, fingertips going white with pressure, until the skin breaks. The sucking, squelching sounds fill the small bathroom as Dean digs blunt fingers into himself, past ribs and through tissue until he reaches paydirt. Wrenching his hand free, he watches his blood splatter in crimson droplets across the counter, his black black heart a dead thing of sulphur and brimstone in his fist. The lighter in his free hand ensures the monstrosity burns, burns, burns.

Dean wakes violently and stumbles to the pristine white bathroom, whole and intact.


	3. Appetite

Dean can feel the monster under his skin. An ugly remnant of Hell, it snarls inside his shadowy parts, begs for freedom. It craves for violence, lusts for blood and hungers for dark satisfactions, the likes of which would make most humans weep. Mostly it's a quiet small voice in the back of his head, a low murmur of heady possibilities. Sometimes it throbs. Dean mostly ignores it, denies it's existence, but he knows the truth. All the feeding and fucking and fighting in the world can only soothe the beast so long. The monster is a part of him.


	4. MIA

The beer bottle flies across the parking lot to shatter on the cold, unforgiving concrete. "Where is your God, Castiel? Where is he in this mess?" Dean's stomps and swears, howling at the moon, at the angel standing by. "Why is it only you? In all of heaven, why only you? Doesn't he care that we're alone here, bleeding and fighting and dying? Where is that love; that infinite fucking patience Pastor Jim told me about? WHERE IS HE?" Dean stops then, caving into himself slightly. Cas has no words to offer, only a strong hand laid on Dean's shoulder.


	5. Novocain

Dean has no one to blame but himself for this. For years Dean has kept his walls up, a stone fortress designed to keep people away. Somewhere along the way though, he'd given in to messy hair and wide blue eyes. Dean had let Castiel in; had allowed him passage under his shell, and had been broken and cracked open like an egg for his effort. Dean stares at where Cas had stood, and for a moment he can feel no pain, just a muffled sensation; like the space between his skin and his soul had been packed with cotton.


	6. Bequeathed

Tonight three bodies burn, while a fourth stands by, silently holding vigil. Tonight the bodies of James Novak, Samuel Winchester and Robert Singer return to ash. Tonight the green eyes of the older Winchester brother are the only witness to the funeral of heroes. Tonight the souls of Sam, Bobby, Jimmy and Dean will settle into their own individual Heaven's, sequestered behind the cheerful facades of their pasts. Castiel turns away now, Graceless, Fallen and cradled snugly in Dean's meat, flayed open with grief like his heart had been wrapped in barbed wire and drug 10 miles behind the Impala.


	7. Covet

Dean thought the worst thing about having wings is that Castiel could fly away whenever he chose, becoming just one more in the long line of people that turned away and left him. Although honestly, it was his fault too, for never saying anything, for pushing Cas away, for not listening to the little voice that told him not to get to close; that he could get hurt. But that voice couldn't hold a candle to the blue of Cas's eyes. So Dean is left anticipating for the day he _needs_ and no one was there to answer the call.


	8. Perennial

"Didn't you once wish for someone to love you, Dean?" The words are smooth as silk and rumble like thunder; Castiel's deep voice a husky growl. "Didn't you beg, Dean? Didn't you cry out for someone to stay, to stand with you, to never ever leave?" Castiel leans closer and pushes his face into Dean's neck, his lips against the fragile skin over the racing pulse at his throat. "Did you expect me then, Dean? Did you conceive of the things I'd do for you, with you, to you?" Castiel laughs, a dark, bitter sound. "Careful what you wish for."


	9. Supplication

Once Dean had been gripped too tight and raised; human soul and angelic grace becoming perfect and flawless. The following years were spent tripping over one another; always too quick or too slow, a little too loud or too silent to regain what they'd held so briefly and lost. Sometimes Dean wanted to tear his heart out of his chest, carve Cas's name into it and gift it to him. Now, as he kneels here prostrate and worshipful; his head on Cas's thigh and the new God's fingers soft in his hair, Dean thinks he might still have that chance.


	10. Denouement

It comes down to this; false dawn lights the sky, the sun just barely approaching the horizon. The two men stand face to face, half-a-dozen paces away from each other. Neither smile, both expressions are flat and hard, but their eyes are intense, focussed.

It comes down to this; a wayward God and a worn down man eye each other up at the end of the world, weighing their options although they have none left.

It comes down to this; Dean draws the heavenly weapon, the last-ditch resort. Castiel raises his fingers, poised to snap.

It comes down to this.

* * *

><p>These last four chapters (Covet, Perennial, Supplication and Denouement) are sort of a mini-verse, and meant to be read and considered in the order posted. Dedicated to Nancy T. for your kind words. :D<p> 


	11. Concession

In a moment of weakness, Dean says yes to Michael. Sent to sleep by the force of an Archangel's grace, Dean loses track of time until he comes to. Later he will realize that most of the world is nuclear-fallout barren. He'll realize that Sam is nowhere to be found, that Bobby is nothing but a smear of pulpy leftover on a broken wheelchair. Right now though, Dean's too busy being devastated when he realizes that hand he awoke gripping belonged to Jimmy Novak; empty of grace, dead eyes staring blankly, and two delicate wings burnt into the bare earth.


	12. Inevitability

"Someday you'll understand, what makes you so special, how your soul was so bright it called to the host, even in the darkest depths of Hell. Someday you'll understand that you're worthy of me, and all the profound things I've done for you." Castiel ran one fingertip down Dean's sleeping face, so softly that he only stirred, but did not awaken. "Someday Dean Winchester, by logic or force I'll MAKE you understand; the love of God is not a careful, gentle thing." At that, the former Angel disappeared soundlessly, the sibilant whispers of a billion monster souls his only companion.


	13. Hollow

Castiel hadn't meant to take all the souls he had, but once he'd accepted the first few, once he'd had that first taste he'd been powerless to stop. The way the souls had filled him had reminded him a little of his encounter with Famine; in that he'd hungered, but no amount of consumption could satiate. In an effort to allay the sensation, Castiel had continued to accept the damned souls, gorging himself on all manner of monster until the well ran dry. Now he could barely remember himself over the billions of voices inside, but he still felt empty.


	14. Memento

Hunters were generally odd people. You have to be to survive the lifestyle, so you learn to overlook most strange habits in your fellows as a courtesy. The Winchester's had a reputation however, for being even quirkier than most, and a damned sight more dangerous too. Most gave them a wide berth on general principal. So as it was, no one said anything when Dean Winchester walked into the Hunter's bar one fall evening alone, looking like forty miles of bad road, missing both car and brother and wearing a ratty blue tie around his bicep, like a forgotten totem.


	15. Fallacy

Dean's knees hit the dirty floor, amid the sounds of Bobby's and Sam's surprised gasps. "I love you." He says, eyes dark and glassy with emotion.

Castiel yearns to believe him, wants to take the words and hold them close, to cradle them in his hands like precious jewels. Dean is lying though, and even if he couldn't hear it in Dean's mind, or see it in the subtle lines on Dean's face, Castiel would know this. Because the Dean Winchester he knows always smells of defiance and pride, but the man before him smells only of fear and resignation.


End file.
